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Drunk Girls, For the love of God, please take care of your single girlfriends

July 11, 2009

Drunk Girls

Submitted by becksta on Mon, 06/08/2009 – 16:29

Is this a Mating Call?Is this a Mating Call?I know that “I’m so drunk” is viewed as a mating call by the cheesier half of our species. Friends don’t let friends drive drunk. But, seriously, should friends let friends sleep with guys they shouldn’t? I have a rule about this, if I am out with a single girlfriend, and she meets a guy she wouldn’t sleep with after four drinks, there is no way, no how, I am going to give that guy the chance to sleep with her after ten drinks.

Some guys might make me out to be a royal be-atch for this, but  I am dead serious.  While most guys assume that it is their devilish charm (see a list of great pick-up lines here) or stunning good looks that gets them laid on a regular basis, they may want to consider the fact that in many of the cases, the girl would not have slept with them if they were even half-way sober.

When this happens to a girl, it’s no joke. One particular icky circumstance happened in the dorms of Pullman when I was a mere freshman and friends with a girl who had yet to understand her drinking limits. The cocky jock of the dorm announced that he would “bang” the girl in question, but only if she was drunk enough. He did, and she woke up, sore, confused, and had no memory of the event in question or even if the guy had used a condom. He then bragged to the entire floor about how great it was, but we were all left to wonder how great it really could have been if the girl was so drunk she forgot about it. Another friend had a worse circumstance last year. She woke up in a hotel room, alone, on the floor, and with a bloody lip. She had no recollection of how she got there, if she had fallen, or been assaulted or raped.

For the love of God, please take care of your single girlfriends. If a girl drinks ten shots of tequila, does three keg-stands and a beer bong, she is going to have more than her beer goggles on, she is going to have the judgment of a young child, triple-vision and will be incapable of enough speech to acquiesce to any kind of sexual encounter. If, on the other hand, in your judgment, it’s a person that she would have slept with after a couple of drinks or stone-cold sober, this is a different situation entirely.

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