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July 23, 2009

 

 

7

Sex Quotes

  • No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens. ~ Abraham Lincoln
  • Sex without love is merely healthy exercise. ~ Robert Heinlein
  • Sex is emotion in motion. ~ Mae West
  • Sex relieves tension – love causes it. ~ Woody Allen
  • Condoms aren’t completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus. ~ Bob Rubin
  • Remember, if you smoke after sex you’re doing it too fast. ~ Woody Allen
  • The best contraceptive is the word no – repeated frequently. ~ Margaret Smith
  • Men get laid, but women get screwed. ~ Quentin Crisp
  • Sex. In America an obsession. In other parts of the world a fact. ~ Marlene Dietrich
  • When a man talks dirty to a woman, it’s sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $3.95 a minute. ~ Author Unknown
  • Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you’re going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love. ~ Butch Hancock
  • To hear many religious people talk, one would think God created the torso, head, legs and arms, but the devil slapped on the genitals. ~ Don Schrader
  • Sex on television can’t hurt you unless you fall off. ~ Author Unknown
  • My reaction to porn films is as follows: After the first ten minutes, I want to go home and screw. After the first 20 minutes, I never want to screw again as long as I live. ~ Erica Jong
  • Familiarity breeds contempt – and children. ~ Mark Twain
  • We all worry about the population explosion, but we don’t worry about it at the right time. ~ Arthur Hoppe
  • Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. ~ Woody Allen
  • There is nothing wrong with going to bed with someone of your own sex. People should be very free with sex, they should draw the line at goats. ~ Elton John
  • There’s nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better than bad sex. ~ Billy Joel
  • When a guy goes to a hooker, he’s not paying her for sex, he’s paying her to leave. ~ Author Unknown
  • The good thing about masturbation is that you don’t have to get dressed up for it. ~ Truman Capote
  • A dirty book is rarely dusty. ~ Author Unknown
  • If you use the electric vibrator near water, you will come and go at the same time. ~ Louise Sammons
  • I think I could fall madly in bed with you. ~ Author Unknown
  • Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn’t! ~ George Bernard Shaw
  • Flies spread disease – keep yours zipped. ~ Author Unknown
  • Don’t knock masturbation – it’s sex with someone I love. ~ Woody Allen 
  • What they love to yield they would often rather have stolen. Rough seduction delights them, the boldness of near rape is a compliment. ~ Ovid
  • When a man goes on a date he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows. ~ Frederike Ryder
  • Don’t worry, it only seems kinky the first time. ~ Author Unknown
  • My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar – I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty-one. ~ Bob Hope
  • Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? ~ Murray Banks
  • I once knew a woman who offered her honor So I honored her offer And all night long I was on her and off her. ~ Author Unknown
  • Tell him I’ve been too fucking busy – or vice versa. ~ Dorothy Parker
  • My cock doesn’t talk politics. ~ S. Sachs
  • I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney
  • An erection is like the Theory of Relativity – the more you think about it, the harder it gets. ~ Author Unknown
  • A student undergoing a word-association test was asked why a snowstorm put him in mind of sex. He replied frankly: “Because everything does.” ~ Honor Tracy
  • Sex is interesting, but it’s not totally important. I mean it’s not even as important (physically) as excretion. A man can go seventy years without a piece of ass, but he can die in a week without a bowel movement. ~ Charles Bukowski
  • When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities. ~ Matt Groening
  • There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. ~ P.J. O’Rourke
  • I’m not cheap, but I am on special this week. ~ Author Unknown
  • A woman occasionally is quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation. ~ Karl Kraus
  • To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you’re impotent. She can’t wait to disprove it. ~ Cary Grant
  • My message to the businessman of this country when they go abroad on business is that there is one thing above all they can take with them to stop them catching AIDS, and that is the wife. ~ Edwina Currie
  • I’d like to meet the man who invented sex and see what he’s working on now.
    ~ Author Unknown
  • The common thread that binds nearly all animal species seems to be that males are willing to abandon all sense and decorum, even to risk their lives, in the frantic quest for sex. ~ Randy Thornhill and Craig T. Palmer

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