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Breakfast Sausage

August 26, 2009

Breakfast Sausage

What is interesting about the bowl you see above?

It’s chock full of characters, each in possession of his own cartoon weiner.

And that’s because there aren’t any female breakfast cereal mascots.

Pebbles doesn’t even appear on boxes of Pebbles in either her “Adorable Baby” or “I’d-Hit-it Adult” forms.

A small handful of female cereal mascots have existed in the past, but there are almost none now except for maybe the “Princesses” which, in my opinion, is more an example the Disney machine slapping characters on any available surface, than good ol’ fashioned mascotry.

Even when a mascot is an inanimate object like our old pal The Honey Thing, it’s still all dripping, sticky and shaped like a peener.

I suppose I should award some points to Kashi “Good Friends Cinna-Raisin Crunch.” It features these two lovely ladies who I firmly believe are “good friends” (ever since that crazy day they met at the Kashi “Good Friends Cinna-Raisin Crunch” photo shoot.)

Instead of cartoon princesses filling little girls’ heads with unrealistic dreams of growing up to be waited on hand and foot in a palace so they can someday bust their poor husband’s balls the moment he gets back from his shift at the Olive Garden — I suggest new cereals and mascots that focus on strong female role models that have altered the course of history.

Rosa Parks single-handedly took on segregation in 1955 and brought about real change. SHE should be on a box of cereal. All Princess Ariel did was sing with a crab and trade in her voice for some legs.

Miss Parks is no longer with us, but if she were I know she’d say, “When it comes to breakfast, let’s send SEXISM to the back of the bus!”


2 Comments leave one →
  1. Anonymous permalink
    August 26, 2009 8:35 pm

    That’s a bit silly, isn’t it? I mean, from what I can see, most of the mascots aren’t even human. In fact, the only one I can see that is definitely human is Cap’n Crunch. (The only others I can see who might possibly be human is the Cinnamon Toast Crunch guys, but I don’t actually know those mascots, so I couldn’t say for sure.) Most of the others are either animals or undead. That being the case, focusing on their gender seems a bit myopic.

    Regarding “Fruity Pebbles”, they’re called that because they’re supposed to resemble pebbles, as in “very small rocks”. (What else floats? *g*) The lack of the character named Pebbles is irrelevant. And as for honey dippers, well, that *is* what they look like.

    Also, these cereals are obviously marketed toward young children. If a human male or human female were used as a cereal mascot, they’d probably lose sales since the cereals with the female mascots would lose sales amongst parents of young boys (“That cereal has cooties!”), and vice versa (ditto). I suspect this is why there are so few mascots that are even remotely human at all, although I can’t profess to be a marketing expert.

    There are far more important things to be concerned about regarding gender equality than wondering why the frog, the vampire, and the toucan on the cereal box are all male.

    • nikkieg23 permalink*
      August 26, 2009 10:22 pm

      Thank you for your comment
      I put that one on because it amused me, not everything has to be serious.
      You are right there are a lot more serious gender related issues out there
      and if you go thru the rest of my posts you will see I do deal with more serious things.
      Like I said in my intro some are serious, some are funny, some are there just to make you think.

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